|
|
Thailand I
Within 48 hours of entering Thailand, I was staring at the ceiling while a lady had me in a backbreaking position, lifting me off the ground. If she had a little more strength, I would have been screaming for mercy. Instead, I was trying to come to terms with the fact that I was paying her to do this to me and more importantly, that this was supposed to be relaxing. Well, this was relaxing compared to the two instances in Indonesia that left me hobbling off in pain. Just an hour earlier I thought I had found the paradise I was searching for, as I lay back watching MTV while receiving a very long foot massage. Of course, that was until the "Thailand Terror" decided she wanted to do a little WWF on my body. It was amazing to see the giddiness come over her as different bones of my body made loud popping sounds.
Sure enough, when all was said and done, I got up slowly with regret that it was over. In Thailand, the massage is so revered that at one point the government created an agency, the Ministry of Massage, where the best techniques from differing styles were combined to create an official Thai Massage. Now, though, the M&M has been converted into a private school, teaching the methods of making people melt in your hand. I was so intrigued by the thousand ways she bent my body without breaking it, that I signed up for a course of my own, learning the neighboring Burmese Massage style. Following three days of popping and cracking, stretching and smacking, I had come to the conclusion that the old saying holds no credence when it comes to massage, for it is far better to receive than give. However, I did enjoy one of the highest honors bestowed upon a student from their teacher; I was skilled enough to make her snore.
My first impression of Thailand is skewed from the lasting impression that I carry today. I was changing over my Ringet currency from Malaysia to the Thai currency of Baht. I had found a restaurant that was offering the best exchange. I counted out my money and put it on a mesh cage containing someone's supper for the evening. I asked, "Poisonous?" A happy, old man responded with a big grin "Yes, very." Not only did the shopper have a wide live selection, but in a variety of venomous colors. It seems the Chinese Malaysians enjoy a little taste of snake steak ever once in a while. The reptiles didn't bother me half as much as the thought that I was going to have to watch closely what I ate in Thailand. That couldn't have been farther from the truth. Thailand had some of the best food I've come across since traveling. I've been in restaurants where I point to items on the menu not knowing what it was, only knowing that I would end up being pleasantly surprised. Believe you me, (what does that actually mean, believe you me?) surprised was my reaction every time they brought out a new twist on the simple rice dish. I guess when eating rice for three meals a day, variety is spurred by necessity.
One of the most humbling things about Thailand came in the form of their greeting, Sa wat dii, which means hello. The first time I was Sa wat diid in their customary manner, which involves a prayer like clasp of the hands and a reverent bow, I couldn't help but feel honored and at a loss for words or actions to respond. After that sort of greeting, you realize how cold the western handshake greeting really can be. I stopped at many of the major tourist destinations while moving from south to north. Crowding onto a boat with the most white people I had seen since Australia, we scooted along, branded with stickers, like they do to you on the first day of school to make sure you get on the right bus. Feeling more like livestock, we where funneled on to the ferry, which could have been in the news, "Overloaded ferry sinks killing tourists." Ever so often, as a little personal joke, I would let out an agonizing "moo" to the frightened reaction of people around me. I guess they just didn't get farm humor.Off I went to Ko Samui, which has to be one of Thailand's most touristed destination. This island of long, white sandy beaches draws thousands of sun worshippers every year with one purpose in mind- to do nothing. Setting out to do nothing is very difficult for me to do. Don't get me wrong, I do nothing all of the time. It's just usually I plan to do something and end up accomplishing nothing. So, with that plan of doing something, I set out to circle the island on a scooter in search of a little culture. I bypassed the go-cart track, miniature golf, and a deadly snake show. I ended up at a Buddhist temple, where I witnessed for the first time a coin-operated Holy Water sprinkler that conveniently rotated covering a large area of tourists.
At a coconut plantation, I met a group of workers methodically peeling the outer casing off a million or so coconuts. Even though the island was overrun with tourists, you could tell that rarely one dropped by to give their way of life a second look. After peeling the outer layer, a gentleman cracked open a coconut and offered it to me as a drink. Without the little umbrella straw, I kicked back the shell, drinking the watery, coconut milk inside. I've wanted to do that ever since the Skipper and Gilligan made being shipwrecked a hope and dream of every kid. Once finished, the man cracked the shell more to expose the actual raw, thick, white coconut coating inside. Offering a chunk for my consumption, all eyes watched for my reaction. I began to chew on a block of wood-like material with the grin of "thanks" and the thoughts of "how can I spit this out without them noticing?" Ko Samui was a realization to me that I enjoyed watching other people peel coconuts far more than I would have enjoyed being on the beach watching myself peel.
On to the next island of Ko Pha-Ngan, where I had timed my arrival with their infamous Full Moon Party. I checked into a small room on the beach and unfortunately for me, I noticed the sign next door a little late "If the music is to loud, you are to old." That night, I discovered actually how old I had become. A military boat was docked offshore, for that evening there was going to be a beach invasion of thousands, dancing from full moon rise until full moon set. The techno-beat, sub-woofered sound rattled my bed like those coin operated mattresses found in those long-forgotten American motels. Somehow I survived the evening all the way into the early morning, as light was shed on the wrecked beach. One group was ingenious enough to build their own sand couch for a little more comfort, while one fellow a little further down was out cold, covered in sand and being sniffed by a dog.
Having had enough of the island life, I headed up to Bangkok where I checked into the Apple Guesthouse II, which unfortunately had been beaten out for the more popular name Apple Guesthouse I. This guesthouse is the first place I've come across where it was possible to find myself standing in line for the toilet behind Maw and Paw Apple. I was actually living in someone's home, and realized this my first night as I came in late, tripping over the kids sleeping in the hallway. That next morning, I woke up at noon and headed for the bathroom and showers, which were located in the living room. Nodding hello to everyone, I made my way past the Apple family while they gave me that "you should feel guilty for sleeping half of the day away" look that my parents mastered on me years ago. It was good to be home.
Since arriving in Thailand, I have had a companion traveling with me. It wasn't until recently that I learned he went by the name of Gardia. I thought he had left after a short, one-day stay and a heavy dose of Imodium. However, since that first encounter, he's knocked at the rear door a few more times. I guess you can't call what Gardia does as knocking, but more like bum rushing the exit and boweling over anything in the way. Don't worry, I'm attempting to leave him behind with a heavy dose of medications.
Gotta Run…s
Jonathan Adams
Currently I'm heading out of Thailand for Laos. Hopefully, soon to follow,
will be Thailand Part II where my pursuit of cultural experiences had me thumb wrestling hilltribe children in north Thailand and catching a nine-dollar flight to see the new Star Wars movie. |
|
